A Journey Of A Thousand Miles

I could write a million thoughts in this space, stories about how I've tried to lose weight in the past, stories about the times I've been successful and the times that I haven't been. I don't want to look back any more, at times I feel as though I've spent my entire life looking  backwards. Living mired in the regrets of what I didn't achieve, where I think I failed, how I could have done better. I would like to be done with looking back, instead I would like to only look forward, towards a new horizon and a new happiness. 

I have three goals for May to help me move forward on my journey:

1. To complete another Whole30. Adhering to all the guidelines set forth in It Starts With Food, save one. In order to help with portion control and overeating (something I struggle with at every meal) I will be tracking my points via Weight Watchers and weighing in every week. Though in the spirit of the Whole30 I won't post my weight here until the 30 days are up. 

2. To complete 20 Pure Barre classes in 30 days. Pure Barre is the only workout I have truly loved since my last dance class in college. I was successfully going daily late last year, but once again found myself squarely inside my own head and pretty quickly I stopped going. However, Pure Barre brought me a peace that I rarely am able to find, and it was honestly one of the most welcoming and supportive environments I have encountered. So, 20 classes in 30 days. 

3. To blog/journal my thoughts daily. Writing is part of me, and much like spending time at the barre, when I spend time putting words to paper my head is clearer and I function better. 

So with head up and heart open I place my foot on the ground. 

A single step forward. 

Your First Thanksgiving

Your first Thanksgiving! And we had much to be Thankful for!

Our turkey was delicious (we actually had two!), our dinner was large, and our company was plentiful. We were surrounded by family, everyone smiling, getting along, happy to be where we were. I hope that your Dad and I will be able to teach you how to appreciate the small things in life. The simple joy that is to be found in surrounding yourself with family and friends and the joy that they can bring.

You have a wonderful Dad I hope you know. And I am Thankful for him. He is sweet, kind, caring and patient and he loves you so much! He must love me too because I put him through an awful lot.

Yesterday was precious; we cuddled on the couch in our pajamas, watched movies and talked to each other. I can just tell that you have the most important thoughts in your head. How wonderful it will be when you can verbalize them!

Afternoons like yesterday are special, for there is nothing better than the moments when you lay your little head on my chest and grab my arms so so tight. Already those moments are fewer and further between. You are a little boy, already eager for adventure, too cool for your Mama’s embrace. I hold you in my arms and you push up, looking around at all the things to see, you want to move away and explore more and more.

But when you are very tired, you rest your sweet face against my chest and you are my baby once again, even if just for a fleeting second.

I am Thankful for your giggles and your laughter. I am Thankful for your smiling face. I am Thankful that something as simple as a quacking duck can provide you so much joy.

I am so very Thankful.

You light up my world!

Any Man of Mine.

Any man who is this happy taking me shoe shopping is the man for me.

Growing Up So Fast

I can't believe how fast you are growing!!

It seems like just yesterday I was tucking you into your car seat for the first time and we were bringing you home! I was so scared! Scared and ready to go home with you!

You were so tiny and helpless.

And now you are smiling at Dad and me, and laughing at us too! You give us a big smile every time we tuck you in that car seat. Ready for the next big adventure, even if that adventure is just down the street to the grocery store.

I am so excited for all our adventures to come - big and small!

Tummy Time

I love you.

Our First Letter

Dear Logan,

It is important to always follow through on something that you start. It is also important to understand that sometimes even when we start things with the best intentions life gets in the way.

When I first found out I was pregnant with you I wanted to keep a record of all the things I was feeling during that exciting time so I started a handwritten journal of letters to you. I think I successfully captured three or four letters. And then, life happened.

I'm hoping that this will be an easier way for me to capture all the things I want to say to you as we go through this amazing adventure together. You are amazing and every day you grow a little more.

I know I won't always be the best Mother, somedays I may not be a very good Mother at all. But know that I am trying and that I love you more than life itself!

We are going to have so many wonderful adventures together.

I can't wait.